Te Whare Tane – Working together for Better Fathers, Better Partners, Better Men
Te Whare Tane – The House for Men provides access to support services for men involved in incidents of family harm, including those issued with a PSO (Police Safety Order) or warnings from the Court. Located in the Hutt Valley, Wellington, Te Whare Tane offers support in the following ways:
Access to social services including counselling and practical help such as finding accommodation, job hunting, advocacy etc
A behavioural change programme run in a men's group setting
Access to volunteer mentors
Access to emergency shelter
Support for their families including parenting classes and couple weekends where they are given tools for healthy intimate partner relationships.
Te Whare Tane has made significant progress in its work. Referrals are coming in steadily at a rate of about 10 to 15 per month; a Service Manager and a part-time Promotions Manager have been employed; a house has been secured and has welcomed its first residents who are positively engaged in the programme; and the Trust has recently qualified to become a Transitional House Provider for the Ministry of Housing and Urban Development, contracted to eventually provide up to 32 beds across the Hutt Valley.
One of the most important things the team has learnt along the way is to approach its mahi with compassion, while encouraging the whole community to get involved and support its cause.
“Probably the most significant learning is the importance of a non-punitive or judgemental approach. Pretty much every client we have worked with has had significant trauma in their lifetime. This doesn’t excuse the behaviour or reduce the need to change it, but it does mean we need to see where it’s coming from. These men need to be encouraged, not put down further than what they feel already. We also believe that the starting point to prevent family harm is to increase awareness by educating and activating the community to stop it. The primary outcome we are looking for is ensuring whole families are feeling safe and secure, because there isn't abuse going on at home,” says Te Whare Tane Board Chair, Ron Vink.
While the team has seen some real headway in the past 12 months, establishing Te Whare Tane has not been without its challenges.
“Supporting family violence perpetrators is without a doubt one of the challenging causes to gain real support for. People get the fact straightaway that in order to stop the harm, we need to work with the person perpetrating it. However, to secure financial support for the project and then to get men to own up to their behaviour and get help to change has been much more difficult than I imagined it would be,” says Ron.
“But even though it might take time, dedication and ingenuity, you can overcome challenges and begin to see some positive outcomes. It would be great if other community organisations at the start of their journey were able to take some encouragement from Te Whare Tane's story, that little by little, incremental steps will progress you on your journey.”
Te Whare Tane has certainly proved that with commitment, determination and a great deal of empathy, something extraordinary can come about. Long may this important mahi continue.